Listening is such a big part of communication and essential in all aspects of life. A lot of people feel that they are good listeners but are they? Are you?
When I ask you to listen to me, you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way. You devalue, belittle, deflate, diminish, trivialize, run down and put down my feelings.
When I ask you to listen to me, and you feel you have to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.
All that I ask is that you listen, not talk or do just hear me.
When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself, you contribute to my fear and inadequacy.
But when you accept a simple fact, that I do feel. No matter how irrational; then I can quit trying to convince you of how I feel. In return, we can get a better understanding of what’s behind those feelings.
So, please listen and just hear me. And, if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn.
I’ll be more than happy to listen to you!
Eliot LeBow, LCSW, CDE, is a diabetes-focused psychotherapist. His private practice, located in New York City and is also available via Skype. LeBow, who has been living with type 1 diabetes since 1977, treats the many diverse cognitive, behavioral, and emotional needs of people living with type 1 and type 2 diabetes.